SublimeHeart

Dec 142016
 

 

Two years ago this little boy had been diagnosed as autistic and could barely stand still let alone sing. Today he loves singing and has rapidly picked up makaton sign language.

His mum, Preeti, says –

“Thank you so much, for everything. I’m feeling very emotional. Just before closing the shop a mother came in with 2 kids, one with autism, all I could see was how Sidhu [Surpreet] used to be. My hubby just realised how much Sidhu has improved”.

I am so impressed by Surpreet’s composure and level of concentration. This video really captures his gentle, sweet nature; it is wonderful to see him happy and no longer in distress. This feels like a milestone in his development, with even more progress lying ahead.

Enjoy “Little Donkey”! This moment was captured at home, where he signs and sings along to a video.

You can read more about this lovely child’s progress in How One Young Man is Defying a Diagnosis of Autism and Testimonials

 

 December 14, 2016  Posted by  Autism No Responses »
Dec 102016
 

You are probably wondering what’s so special about a video of a little boy vacuuming the stairs. For sure he is cute and it is heart melting that he is helping out, but why share it here?

Please meet Surpreet, one of my favourite young men! We first met in Spring 2014. He was a very different child then. His mother, Preeti, and I struggled to have a conversation because Surpreet was so agitated. He was around 6 years old and his stimming was so bad he was constantly bouncing up and down and tugging at everything around him. He dribbled, made noises but did not use words, often expressed frustration and avoided eye contact. His lack of response made it hard to know whether he even realised I was addressing him.

So it was that I learned how Surpreet had been diagnosed as high on the autism spectrum. His parents had been told fairly unequivocally not to expect much improvement, and had exhausted many other possibilities in allopathic and complementary care to help their son.

I started to work with him, for around an hour at a time. I always worked at a distance, never face to face. I would do a session, email Preeti feedback and then wait to hear from her. Changes were evident after the very first session. He was calmer, stopped dribbling, and showed more interest in food. The breakthroughs that followed exceeded expectations, and soon he was asking to eat sausages, sleeping through the night and asking for the toilet when he needed it.

Fast forward to 2016. Now when I blow him a kiss, Surpreet giggles, and flashes me a cheeky smile as he waves good bye, making direct eye contact. He loves food. Persuading him to eat had been a chore; now he will want to taste whatever you are eating, as well as clearing his own plate. One of his favourite treats is a family outing for pizza, which is all the more amazing because he can now actually join the family for a meal in a noisy restaurant. Previously he found such environments intolerable.

He has grown not only in inches, but also in his comprehension of the world. He not only knows how to ask for what he wants, he appreciates the complexity of humour and teases even his teachers at school. Yes, he goes to school! He started to use words, and has begun to write.

Preeti was unable to take him to the shops previously; now he goes to school on the bus (on his own!). This summer he enjoyed his first holiday abroad, including site seeing and visiting a chocolate factory. Previously he couldn’t tolerate noise and became agitated and frustrated very quickly, now happily travelling by bus, train, plane and car! He has a best friend at school and has just been moved up a class because his progress has exceeded all expectations. He loves swimming, and started to pack his swimming clothes on a Sunday evening without being prompted, ready for Monday’s swimming class.

All these changes didn’t happen overnight (although some were within days). We have had periods where we have worked together more intensely, and then other times more sporadically, according to Surpreet’s needs, and continue to do so. Throughout, Preeti has remained determined to find what best supports her son. This includes looking after herself better, as well as ensuring Surpreet’s nutrition, exercise, sleep and activities all support his well being. I am so impressed by this young mother’s determination, often in the face of opposition by health/education professionals who doubted her son would progress (and often insisted in their opinion, to the point of demoralising and upsetting her), as well as scepticism from family, friends and community.

Although we continue to work together, our objectives now are different to those in the first sessions. This is no longer just about making life more comfortable for a child who often appeared to be isolated and in extreme distress. Instead it’s more about supporting him so he thrives and realises his full potential, like any other child. He is so bright, intelligent, funny and gentle! I have every expectation he will continue to confound all the expectations attributed to him as child labelled as autistic.

So now you know why this is not just another cute video made by another proud parent. It really is magical that this boy (who only ever used to walk on tip toes), is able to balance this equipment on the stairs, understand the task, appreciate which nozzle works best for which part of the task and be able to attach/detach it accordingly, as he completes the cleaning thoroughly, without supervision. He used to hate the noise of the vacuum; who would have thought this would become one of his favourite ways of helping his mother!

Preeti and I decided to write this piece together because when I asked her to describe what had changed for Surpreet we realised that the list was so long we both struggled to recall all the improvements! I had forgotten how much he used to bounce up and down, and she tells me that, even as she wrote her testimonial, she became quite overwhelmed at realising how far he has come. She recalls so many moments now that she never expected to see, like the second video (below) which captures Surpreet playing quietly and patiently with his sister. Previously he vented his frustrations through aggression and preferred to keep his own company.

We both hope that hearing Surpreet’s story will encourage other parents in a similar situation to remain strong and positive, even when they are exhausted and have no idea what to do next. Amazing, unexpected progress is possible! If ever you doubt that, come back and visit these videos and let Surpreet remind you!

You can read Preeti’s own words in the Testimonials section.

 December 10, 2016  Posted by  Autism 1 Response »
Dec 042016
 

still-sceptical-about-meditation-tim-parks

If you are still dismissive of meditation and mindfulness, convinced that it is way too hippie for an intelligent, rational I’ve-got-my-life-together left brainer like you, Tim Parks’ account of his own most unlikely path to discovering the benefits of being still may well poke a hole in the bucket of your absolute certainty.

It’s an easy and entertaining read. There is no momentous transcendent experience, no blinding white light or angelic beings (and not really much of an Ohm to cling to either) but, somehow, despite all his resistance, he stumbles down this unexpected path to recovery after having reached a dead end on the trail of allopathic solutions to his health challenges.

Stick it on your own Christmas wish list or in someone else’s stocking. It’s a good read which doesn’t spare any of the awkwardness of learning to sit still and just breath. Sounds too simple, yes, that’s what he thought too! Yet the reward for his persistence was not just another book worth publishing but relief from chronic pain and a new appreciation of how the mind can hold the body hostage.

“Teach Us To Sit Still” by Tim Parks

 

 December 4, 2016  Posted by  Meditation No Responses »
Dec 032016
 

nude-by-yuri-pysar

The therapeutic benefits of massage are well established, and include reduction in blood pressure.
This study compares having a back massage with simply lying prone for the same length of time. It concludes there is no significantly greater benefit on systolic blood pressure from massage than just lying prone, at least for women (the study had only female participants).

So, if your main driver for a massage is to help manage your BP, try lying face down for at least 15 minutes instead, and see how that helps. Of course you miss out on the sheer pleasure of a massage, but lying prone is free and available in the comfort of your own home at your convenience.

The Effect Of Lying Prone On Blood Pressure

 

 

 December 3, 2016  Posted by  Blood Pressure No Responses »
Nov 152016
 

sublime-heart-the-energy-field-of-animals

Mysha loves her food! With her soft-as-down belly full of chicken, she is a very happy kitty! So, if she sniffs and walks away from a tasty morsel, I am alert to something being not-quite-right with her.

So it was after bonfire night. I had supervised her excursions outside closely in the days leading up to 5th November, and kept her indoors on the day itself, yet something still spooked her. Two meals came and went and she barely ate a mouthful. She also seemed a bit listless. This proverbial curious cat usually follows me everywhere (I call her my assistant), but was disinterested now.

When I checked her energy field, sure enough there were disruptions, and the cause showed up as being during the previous day. A few adjustments, a short nap (her, not me), and she was back to inhaling chicken (chewing wastes too much time?) and patrolling the garden as I tidied up for the winter.

As with humans, the energy field of an animal includes an etheric field and, to enjoy well being, this must be fully embodied in the animal’s physical body, with the various layers in tact and the chakras functioning appropriately. When I looked at Mysha I could see her etheric body was partially displaced from her physical body. It had shifted there to find safety, when she felt threatened. Addressing the fear that caused this (the loud bang of a firework) cleared the energetic imprint of that fear in her energy field and allowed the etheric body to return to its correct position.

Another time I have had to make a similar correction is after she stayed in the cattery whilst I was on holiday. It is a lovely place where she is well looked after but I knew as soon as I saw her when I collected her that something was not quite right. As I scanned her, she looked as if her etheric body was perched just above her head, and the cause was around 3 days earlier. Again, the adjustment was relatively simple and her response was fast. By the following day she was back to her usual ninja self, perched on the top of doors and growling at the refuse collection lorry.

I have used the same approach with a variety of animals, including dogs at a rescue shelter. The latter are often very scared, with their energy field badly fractured (sometimes it looks like shattered glass to me). I don’t even need to know what the dog has experienced to adjust its field (although it often shows up). Once the correction is made, the dog usually sighs deeply and relaxes, often falling asleep. When it wakes, the shift is evident from its wagging tail and increased engagement with its environment. It is amazing what a difference that short treatment can make!

It is worth noting that it is not just trauma or fear that can cause the etheric body to become displaced. Foreign substances in the body (such as medication) can have a similar effect. In animals, the most common time I see this is when they have had anaesthetic, although I have seen it as a reaction to a booster vaccination and even the application of chemical flea control. The solution is similar, but sometimes it takes more time and focus to clear the body of the offending substance. I now always check Mysha’s field if she has been exposed to any such substance. After she was neutered, this was incredibly helpful; by the time we had driven home from the vet (around 40 minutes), she was ready for her usual lunch and window sill outlook post, albeit still limping! She still had a headache (which I cleared later), but certainly defied all expectations set by our (excellent) vet.

Obviously, there are times when an animal is unwell and requires more in depth attention but I highly recommend that if it just seems out for sorts, it is worth checking and correcting their energy field. From goldfish to parrot, labradoodle to Shetland, pot belly or gecko, the issue is the same and the response is usually fast. If you have an animal that seems out of sorts, it’s a great place to start. If they need more attention, that will also show up, but this initial correction invariably helps in any event. In fact, in my experience, absent this correction in the animal’s energy field, other treatments/therapies often have limited effect.

I can only imagine how much I would worry about my gorgeous feline companion if I were unable to see what’s going on with her in this way, so I am passionate about helping other animals (and their humans). If you are new to energy work and would like a taster session for your pet, I am offering a special discounted 30 minute first session for only £25 from now until 14 January 2017. It is a great opportunity to help an animal upset by fireworks or otherwise. You can book Book a Session here or send me a message if you have a question.

 

 November 15, 2016  Posted by  Anaesthetic, Animals, Subtle Body No Responses »
Aug 212014
 

robin-williams

The disclosure that Robin Williams was diagnosed with Parkinson’s is a reminder of yet another reason why it is essential to clear the underlying cause of depression (and indeed any condition) and not just medicate the symptoms.

Doctors do not understand the connection between depression and Parkinson’s, but there is evidence that those with depression are 3 times more likely to develop Parkinson’s at a later date (Study Links Depression to Parkinson’s). Whether this is because depression is an early indicator of the onset of Parkinson’s, or some other reason, is still unclear. For those with depression it is red flag for what may lie ahead; how awful to even have to consider such a possibility when you are already numb and empty.

Parkinson’s typically begins with tremors and progresses to the stage where the individual needs help with every day activities, with even their speech being affected. That is a huge psychological challenge for anyone. For someone already depressed it must be devastating. Depression itself is often physically debilitating, where even getting out of bed and basic tasks become a challenge. Compound that with a diagnosis of Parkinson’s, and the belief that mobility will deteriorate further rather than ever improve, and how much darker must the dark days seem.

There is also the other side of the relationship between these two conditions : it is believed that around half of those diagnosed with Parkinson’s will at some time suffer depression. This is now well documented , even though the pathological connection between the conditions is not fully understood.

It may take scientists many more years to identify what they believe is the link between depression and nervous system disorders like Parkinson’s, Alzheimer’s disease and dementia. Unlike medication, energy-based work is not dependant on their findings, and help is available now. A human being is a complex system of energy and, as we address the imbalances and issues for one condition (what doctors call depression), we address related areas at the same time (such as a propensity for the state known such as Parkinson’s). By working with the whole, rather than just symptoms, we address the underlying causes, rather than only what is more evident and visible.

So, whilst it is easy to be pulled into the fear and pessimism often surrounding these conditions, it is important to remember that it is possible to both halt their progress as well as clear existing symptoms. No conventional doctor will ever tell you that, not least because his insurance policy will not let him. In fact most doctors, like most other people, lack awareness and real understanding of what is possible outside the relatively narrow field of their own training, simply because these possibilities are dismissed by those who run the western health care model and that is the model most of us are brain washed to believe as preferable. An open mind is not just a nice to have in these circumstances; it is absolute prerequisite to allowing new possibilities that can make all the difference. That is perhaps the greatest challenge any of us face with these so-called incurable conditions.

A wonderful man who made many of us laugh, as well as pause and reflect at his portrayal of the human condition, chose to end his personal struggle with these illnesses. Those who have never been depressed may not appreciate how it is to be swallowed by despair and have nothing matter any more; those who have, will likely at some time contemplate relief by the same route. That could be any one of us, however well and healthy we seem today, so the more we educate ourselves now, the better.

Some of the multitude of opinions on depression in the media at the moment are a useful contribution to such an education. Others are compounding the notion that depression is complicated, hard to understand and impossible to clear. My experience of helping many people become free of depression, is that none of that is necessarily true. However the depression might manifest, it invariably tracks back to one thing : an issue that needs correcting in the energy field. Making that correction is usually not complicated, with change manifesting fast. I regularly see significant improvements after just one or two one hour long sessions. The return to balance and good spirit may take longer for someone who is taking prescription medication or self medicating with other substances, but it is still possible. This is where our focus should be, and the message we really need to share.  This is not an incurable disease with inevitable consequences such as Parkinson’s. It’s time to end the fear and embrace the brave new world where non medical alternatives really can work.

 

 August 21, 2014  Posted by  Depression, Parkinson's No Responses »
Aug 122014
 

Robin-Williams-Nanu-Nanu

How truly sad to wake to the news that the genius that is Robin Williams has chosen to leave this reality. Whilst he entertained us with many great films, my enduring memory of him will be as Mork. Nanu nanu, what a legend! It wasn’t just that he was funny; he had a presence, warmth and sincerity that gave depth to his characters and even made Mrs Doubtfire someone you could expect to bump into. How tragic to have such talent, and yet lack peace to such an extent as to choose to draw a final curtain.

It is sobering for us to contemplate that yet another of those who makes us laugh most lived with the challenge of depression and addiction. Like many dealing with depression, his public persona masked the inner void. So it is with so many, who walk amongst us with a smile and yet fight a very private battle with darkness.

I am reminded now of the reasons I do what I do, regardless of the sceptics and the naysayers whose minds are too closed to consider anything other than the allopathic treatment of conditions such as depression and addiction. I routinely facilitate people out of these states to a more stable place from  where they are able to move forward with renewed optimism and hope. Often I am their last hope, and they may well have low expectations of a positive outcome, because all else has failed or had limited success. My work does not simply suppress their symptoms; it gets to the cause and roots it out. Luckily the effectiveness of what I do is in no way impacted by the sceptics, and days like today, waking to the news that this great man reached a place of such darkness he saw no way forward, renew my commitment to make a difference whenever I can.

If you are reading this and need help, please make contact. Don’t let financial constraints stop you, that can always be resolved. Just one session can make enough of a difference to make the next steps worth taking.

One day energy-based work will be taken for granted. Scientists will have the proof they need and big pharma will try to persuade us they have the wonder drug for this as well. In the meantime, let’s hold a space for the well being of those amongst us who really could benefit from it, as well as those who would be better placed to serve them if only they opened their minds to new possibilities.

 August 12, 2014  Posted by  Addiction, Depression 2 Responses »
Aug 092014
 

Steven-Da-Luz-Passenger-2

“Many, many of us have left our bodies — we’re not embodied creatures, we’re not living inside our own muscles and cells and sinews. And so we’re not in our power, we’re not in our energy. […] It’s been a long journey to get fully back into my body. And, certainly, what I’ve seen everywhere in the world is that the more traumatized people are, the less connected they are to their own source of strength, their own source of inspiration, intuition, heart — everything.”  Source : “Eve Ensler on How Trauma Makes Us Leave our Bodies and Disconnect Ourselves”

These words by writer and activist Eve Ensler really resonate with me, because I often work with people who are displaced from their body to some degree. By that, I mean that when I see them energetically, I can see that their etheric body is not fully occupying and connected to the physical self.

In more extreme cases, it might look as if the etheric body is pushing away to avoid reconnecting fully in the physical body. In other cases I see the body flickering, like a light, because the etheric body is unable to maintain a steady connected state in the physical body. In all cases, that weak connection with the etheric body disconnects us in the way that Eve observes, and more, by limiting our ability to be healthy and strong.

Our etheric body is essential to who we are and how we are. It imbues us with life and is the link between the emotional and physical body, as well as between the vital body and physical body. It is essential to our health and, when it is not strong and fully connected, our vitality is compromised. When it leaves completely, we die.

I would add to Eve’s comments in a couple of respects. First, it does not take a physical trauma for us to leave our body. Indeed, our rational, adult self may not even see the incident(s) that caused us to leave our body as particularly traumatic. As a child, the threat will have been felt as much greater and most likely we will have supressed it into our subsconscious.

I have come to understand from what I see that we leave the physical body to escape a threat or fear, and that might be emotional. Thus, I have seen many who left their body as a young child, perhaps when distraught at what they perceived as abandonment by a parent who left the family, or when they witnessed violence against their mother and were helpless in preventing it. We literally escape the threat/pain by getting out of our body. It might be in response to a sudden event, or it might be the result of an ongoing situation.

Once that separation occurs, our well being is influenced by whether we are able to reinstate a healthy connection with our physical body. We may reconnect in whole or part if we engage in activities that clear our old patterns and hurts and support an emotionally and physically healthy lifestyle.

The issue for many is that they remain disconnected to some extent for many years, if not throughout their life.  When asked, they may admit to feeling disconnected, although they don’t know why and since when they feel that way. Sometimes it is a feeling in their body or in relation to their body; other times it is about how they relate to others. Invariably it is a sense of being somewhat disassociated, and may manifest as an inability to progress and succeed in certain areas of life, as well as health issues.

This is where I have a second observation on Eve’s words. She comments that the journey to reoccupy her self fully has been a long one.  Indeed it will be for many, because often it is only when faced with a life crisis that we undertake the level of self examination required to clear whatever is holding us in the state of separation. However, this need not be the case at all.

When I work with a client one of the first things I facilitate is getting them back in their body. Until I do that, I cannot help them progress. In fact, it is usually the first thing that shows up when I look at them and it gives me an immediate indication of their state of well being. Typically, they are back in their body in the first session, as we clear whatever caused them to disconnect.

As soon as we are back in our body we feel the difference. The result is usually immediate, a few hours at the most. We feel more grounded, calmer, stronger and more able to deal with what shows up in life. Our body is also better able to heal itself, because it finally has access to this essential part of itself. I am convinced now that the absence of such integration sabotages many healing modalities. Unless the layers of our energy body are connected and strong, we remain susceptible to further health challenges (etc), and fail to resolve the current ones fully.  I believe that is why some modalities give temporary relief, yet symptoms return, because this underlying issue remains.

Once addressed, the change seems to remain unless we suffer a new trauma or a residual aspect of the original issue is triggered. The bigger challenge for the individual is usually how to adjust their expectations, thinking and day to day living when suddenly they feel so much more centred and grounded, often in a way they cannot recall feeling before. That may sound like an exaggeration, but it is common. The shift is profound and fast. Many of us are so used to living with our limitations, we have no idea what ease feels like. When we feel it so suddenly, we may be sceptical it will last, especially if past attempts at securing well being have been short lived. It does last, and it is a wonderful place from which to rebuild well being.
 

 August 9, 2014  Posted by  Subtle Body 2 Responses »
Jun 192014
 

One-Direction-Zayn-Lights-u

Correction, I wish everyone who uses recreational drugs knew this, because it might just shift their perspective that drug-taking is harmless and that they are in control.

When I look at someone who has been using drugs they are usually not in their body to some degree. By that, I mean I see their etheric body has separated from their physical body, and is either unable to re-enter the physical body fully, or remains disconnected from the physical body in some way even when it does.

What I see depends on what they have used and when : they might look like a flickering light, as if they are vibrating inside the physical body, or be so expanded I cannot locate their full expanse. They often appear to be completely outside the physical body. Whilst the physical self might be enjoying a trippy high and feel at one with all creation, what I see after the initial high is more likely to be agitation (at one extreme) or someone comatose (at the other).  What I do not see is a healthy, integrated energy field.

Certain chemicals seem to make us unable to occupy our body fully and strongly. Some parts of the body/self might be more affected than others, for example tobacco makes holes in the field around the mouth whilst cocaine affects the area of the third eye most. However the overall consequence is generally the same: a disconnection between the physical and etheric self.

Why does any of that matter? It matters because our physical, mental and emotional health is deeply affected by the state of our energy field. A tightly connected field keeps out what might be damaging whilst it draws and holds in what we need to maintain a healthy vibration and to allow appropriate communication of our various systems. Every substance we ingest, from healthy greens to sugar, alcohol to prescription and recreational drugs, affects our energy field.

When the etheric body separates from the physical body, we may for a while feel high as a kite, free of physical constraints and invincible. However unless we maintain a healthy, whole and connected energy field our vitality as beings in this physical plane declines.

Some habitual cannabis users will protest that cannabis has not harmed them and, indeed, helps them remain productive. They say it reduces anxiety, and may cite a recent study that suggests crime falls in areas where marajuana is legalised.  I cannot comment on the correlation between lower crime and legalised dope, but here is where is gets really interesting: when I look at the energy field of a cannabis user, aspects of it can look confusiingly similar to that of someone who is bipolar/depressed.

Cannabis users who have been diagnosed as on the depression/bipolar spectrum often cite that mental health issue as one reason they use the drug, it keeps them calm and more amenable. At an energetic level it is not at all clear what came first: did they really have a mental health issue which they are medicating with cannabis, or are their mental health symptoms a consequence of cannabis disrupting their energy system? Are they really helping themselves or are they unwittingly repeatedly recreating the same pattern through substance use, so they will in fact never be truly free of their mental health symptoms?

In fact, I believe this may be one reason why so many young men and women are being wrongly diagnosed with depression at a young age. When they cannot/will not get out of bed or be motivated to study, work or do whatever they need to do to lead productive lives, or they behave erratically, their symptoms are often diagnosed as depression or bipolar. That may well be the issue, but their behaviour may also be the consequence of drug use. And so, very often, there begins a long and complicated journey down the wrong road, to medicate symptoms which are in fact caused by something altogether different. Anti depressants depress the energy system even further and compound the problem rather than correct it. They get caught in a cycle of prescription medication alongside the recreational drugs. The only way to fully escape this cycle is to correct it energetically, and that includes ceasing to use all drugs in the long term, including prescription medication. Sadly, most western health care systems just do not allow for this.

Whilst every drug is different, this is an issue that is going to get worse rather than better, with the wider availability of soft drugs and legal highs. Many have celebrated the wider legal use of marijuana in parts of the US in recent months. It just made me feel sad. The notion that marijuana is harmless is completely misplaced when it comes to the energy field. I cannot comment on the use of cannabis oil for medicinal purposes, as I have not studied the energy fields of such users. However, even there, whatever the issue they are seeking to treat with the so-called medicinal product could in any event be addressed by appropriate adjustments to their energy field, so by-passing the use of the substance and any associated risks.

To anyone who cannot see energy fields and argues drug use must be ok because it is an ancient tradition in cultures centuries old, and shamans in NYC as well as the Amazon continue those traditions, let me say this : connection to altered states of consciousness does not require the use of an external substance. As a part of All That Is, you are already connected. Anyone who tells you that your spiritual awareness will be speeded to a higher plane much faster in this way has likely already distorted their own connection through substance use.

Your energy field is your connection; drug use does not strengthen that connection, even if it is ayahuasca and you take it on a month long supervised trip to the Amazon. It either tears holes in your field or disconnects it and, in doing so, disconnects you as well. I have not yet worked with anyone who has been able to fix their own energy field, without external help, to remedy such damage. The shamans whose whole lifestyle was a context for these practises may well have had their own remedies. The modern interpretations of those traditions are largely practised out of context and from a place of very limited knowledge and experience.

I know this perspective makes me unpopular in some circles who consider themselves more enlightended on such matters. Those who oppose the easier availability of drugs are dismissed as closed minded, ignorant scaremongers. If I were so, my connection to Source which allows me to do the work I do would likely shut down. When I stand in the space of All That Is and connect with another, I am of necessity free of all judgement. The views I express here are based on my direct experience of working with people of varying ages who have used drugs. I used to be quite neutral about the use of soft drugs, but the more I work with those experiencing their long terms effects, the more I am convinced that we are largely ignorant of the havoc they wreak in our energy systems.

Perhaps the day will come when we will all be more aware of our energy fields and what we are doing to them. Until then, I hope young One Direction fans will not seek to emulate their idols. Their parents may also like to reflect on what they have used themselves in the past and how it still affects them – because it will still be having an impact. They may never have been diagnosed as an addict, but that depression or anxiety, that apathy and or that need for a glass or three of wine in the evening, could well have its roots in those younger days of experimentation. This is one thing you never just grow out of, unlike your infatuation for a boy band.

 

 June 19, 2014  Posted by  Uncategorized No Responses »
Apr 092014
 

Marshall-Arisman-Energy-199

Most of us do not concern ourselves about the lasting effects of anaesthetics. In fact, I doubt it even occurs to us that we might compromise our mental faculties as a result of being exposed to them. If we have a worry, it is more likely to be whether we will wake up at all after (or during) the surgical procedure and just how sick we will be as we recover post-surgery.

To a large extent we take the administration of anaesthetics for granted. They are administered under the care of trained professionals who operate subject to appropriate safeguards. However, even the medical profession is now more alert to the possible lasting effects of anaesthetics, although there is still no guidance on how much anaesthetic is safe in a lifetime, nor how to minimise the post surgery risks.

When I look at a client, the effects of anaesthetics can show up in various ways, and sometimes long after the related surgical procedure. Usually, I can see how the etheric body has left the physical body. It looks as if the client is sitting outside their body, often just above their physical head. Having left the physical body during surgery, the etheric body then seems unable to re-enter and become fully reconnected to the physical body.

Sometimes, all or part of the energy field looks blank, as if part of the body is missing. The effect is strongest in the area where the surgery has been carried out, but extends beyond it. Thus, in the case of someone who has had knee surgery on their left knee, it might look as if the left side of the body is missing. In the case of a hip replacement, it might look as if the whole of the lower body, including the pelvis, has disappeared.

Even long after the chemicals involved have been metabolised and excreted from the body, their effect remains. Together with other pollutants to which we are exposed, there is a cumulative effect in the etheric body. The surgery may have been successful, but when I access the energy field it feels as if it has become detached and frozen in places. Once the effects of the anaesthetic and surgery have been addressed, I can feel the client more fully occupy their body, often expressing appreciation and enjoyment at the feeling of being able to do so once more.

I have witnessed the enduring effect of anaesthetics when working with babies in utero : issues arising in the baby can be a related to anaesthetic administered to the mother, even before conception. In one such case, there was concern that the foetus was not developing as expected. I tracked this back to when the mother underwent major dental surgery some 12 years earlier. The baby was born healthy and is thriving.

Clearing the effects of the anaesthetic during and immediately after surgery has a profound effect on recovery. Recovery is faster and common side effects such as nausea, vomiting and constipation are reduced dramatically.

I recently witnessed firsthand how such clearing speeds recovery. My 77 year old client, who in the past invariably suffered a long recovery after surgery (with a lot of nausea and vomiting), was hungry and ready to eat a proper meal less than 2 hours after major surgery of several hours, much to the surprise of family and nurses!

The patient’s age makes this all the more remarkable. The medical profession is beginning to recognise the risk of a decline in cognitive ability (“post operative cognitive decline”) in elderly patients in particular. The risk seems even greater for anyone pre-disposed to conditions such as dementia, as the anaesthetic appears to speed up their decline. I can confirm that my hungry client has definitely not displayed any such symptoms of decline; she continues to be mentally alert and articulate. If anything, her energy is even clearer now than before the surgery. There are a lot of people wondering just how she has made such a speedy recovery!

The good news is that, at an energetic level, the effects of anaesthetics can be cleared, regardless of how long ago the surgery took place. This applies to dental procedures as much as other surgery. The benefits can often be felt immediately: greater clarity of thought and improvement in memory being common.

I tend to build the need to clear anaesthetics into a session in any event, but it can be addressed specifically as well. For example, if you are aware of changes in well being (such as poorer recall and memory) since having surgery, this issue is worth investigating. If you or a loved one have had surgery or are contemplating it, it is well worth bearing this in mind so you can incorporate appropriate action into your recovery plan; it is not something your medical practitioner will usually discuss with you.

 

 April 9, 2014  Posted by  Anaesthetic No Responses »
Apr 092014
 

Ian-Thorpe
I doubt anyone reading this thinks this athlete looks depressed. Yet, last year, in his memoir Ian Thorpe disclosed his struggle with depression. He is not the only athlete fighting this battle.

I venture that we each have in our mind’s eye an image of what a depressed person looks like, and it is nothing like this. I venture also that there is someone in your circle of friends and acquaintances, including work colleagues, who suffers depression and you are none the wiser.

Because that’s the thing about depression, it lives amongst us in many guises. For sure there are those so paralysed by it that their only way to cope is to retreat from life, be signed off work and withdraw from normal social relations. Such depression is more easily recognisable and it is what most of us think of when we hear the word.

However there are also those who somehow maintain a facade of functioning in a relatively normal life and yet, inside, are numb, empty, liking nothing, absent from their own life; depressed. They will hold a conversation with you, nod as they appear to listen. Yet, really, nothing, absolutely nothing, matters.

They don’t necessarily look sad, let alone depressed. She still styles her hair, wears lipstick and buys presents for her children; he works in an office and drinks beer with friends. If they are your neighbours, you will not register anything unusual about them. He may snap at the children and she may not smile much, but we barely notice such behaviours in our too-stressed-to-stop western lifestyles. It’s the same for everyone, isn’t it……..

Well, it isn’t the same for everyone. This is not something they can simply snap out of or a sadness or disappointment they will get over in time. It is not about thinking positive and adopting a better outlook, or just catching up on sleep or taking a break. It is likely they have been feeling as they do a while. They may feel so embarrassed at their inability to break free of this, whatever this is, that they have not even shared with their partner/spouse how overwhelmed and hopeless they feel.

Somehow, they have developed a coping mechanism, a way of getting through each day, every day, one day at a time. They probably have thoughts of how to make it stop, how to go to sleep one day and not have to wake again and do it all over again. They will tell you they are fine when you bump into them and exchange niceties.  After all, if someone asks you how you are, you say “fine”, because that is what they expect and neither of you really wants to discuss how you feel.

The brutality of depression is that at the stage where the individual really needs help, they might well not be able to help themselves. They need those around us to step up and ensure they receive the support they need.

This is where a spouse/partner can play a crucial role. If your previously loving and attentive partner has withdrawn from physical contact and seems distant, it might be easy to assume his/her attention is elsewhere (with another person). In fact, you may be angry and frustrated because you feel they are neglecting you. What if though, the absence of hugs and kisses, the changes in sleeping pattern, the gain (or loss) in weight, the angry outbursts alternating with a taciturn refusal to engage, the lack of interest in new activities and in socialising are all clues….

So if you notice your loved one seems out of sorts over a protracted period for no apparent reason, find a way to be a good friend. One day you may need someone to do the same for you. It will never be an easy conversation, but it may be the most important one you (and they) ever have. I remind myself that this could be me. What would I want? What would I want when I am overwhelmed by hopelessness and inadequacy, believe I have no options and there is no point to anything (including me) any more?

As for how someone at the peak of physical fitness can be depressed, in my experience thus far ultimately the cause is always the same: a disturbance in the energy field. Yes, diet and exercise play a role in maintaining well being, but diet and exercise alone are usually not enough to resolve the issue.

Depression in not caused by a hormonal or chemical imbalance as we have been led to believe by the pharmaceutical companies with a vested interest in selling us drugs to correct such supposed imbalances.  If it was, an optimum nutritional and exercise regime (such as that afforded to an elite athlete) would be a perfect solution. Enough athletes suffer depression to evidence that this is not the solution.

The issue is always one that requires energetic correction, even when it coincides with key life changes such as an athlete’s retirement, or a change in training pattern, for example after a major championship. That is why it can be resolved, and usually fast. Perhaps that is also why the real solution is not shared more widely; it does not generate wealth for those who profit from depression.

 April 9, 2014  Posted by  Depression No Responses »
Mar 222014
 

Sublime-heart-hoarder-next-

I made a point of tuning in again this week to Channel 4’s “The Hoarder Next Door”, to see if the approach adopted this week was any different to that taken with Alex last week. Sadly, it was the same.

I love this programme for raising awareness about hoarding. However, it frustrates me that it makes such a mountain (no pun intended) of dealing with the issue.

Hoarding is deeply distressing for both the hoarder and their loved ones. That does not mean that any improvement must be laborious, painful and limited. This week, after 6 weeks of treatment, the only evident improvement for Margaret is some recognition of a possible cause of the hoarding behaviour, one clear room and slow progress to declutter the rest. All progress is, of course, to be celebrated but I make more progress with a client in 6 hours than was made with Margaret in those 6 weeks! As Margaret stands in the middle of her cluttered kitchen at the end of the programme and resolves to clear it, she does not strike me as a woman whose inner burden has been cleared.

Some of you have asked me to post in more detail the process that I use; please watch this space for more resources and tools. In the meantime, here is a summary explanation of my usual approach when working with a hoarder:

  1. To start with, all I ask is your name and age. I do not need any personal information, including why you believe you are hoarding. In fact, the less you tell me the better; I prefer to look at you without a back story, opinion or expectations.
  2. I do a session for you (lasting around 1 hour), where I am able to scan you energetically and locate the root cause of your hoarding. I do not meet you face to face to do this. I do it without even speaking with you. I have intuitive ability that allows me to tune in to you wherever you are in the world and see/feel/hear/experience what is going on in your energy field.
  3. Once I have located information in your energy field I interact with it to allow it to change. For example, in Margaret’s case, if the root cause was her relationship with her father/mother, I might locate the particular incident(s) which began her path to hoarding. I would clear these and see what else came up, and work with that too.

    This is a far more accurate way to identify the root cause of the hoarding than through talking with the individual, because I bypass the mind and the fear that keeps the emotions behind the hoarding buried and inaccessible. It is also far less distressing; you are not upset or re-traumatised by having to revisit past experiences.

  4. After that first session, I would expect you to experience a shift in how you feel very quickly, especially after a good night’s sleep  – and for many, it is a very good night’s sleep after a session, often the best sleep they have had in a long time (many hoarders do not sleep well).

    Clients usually report feeling lighter and calmer, and less easily triggered by what is going on around them. Now, isn’t that a much better place from which to begin to declutter – calm enough to throw things away rather than simply move them around whilst the pain still grips you inside, reinforcing your feelings of being inadequate?

  5. Having shared feedback after the session, we then decide what next. Some clients start de-cluttering without further prompting. Others prefer to make a plan of action – which room to tackle first, whom to ask for practical help with clearing up, storage solutions for what they want to keep etc.

    Usually, we schedule one or two more sessions to address any residual resistance to the cleaning up process. At this stage, if the client finds it useful, I teach them some techniques they can use very easily whilst they declutter if at any point they feel challenged (or they can just contact me and ask for some extra support).

This approach removes the emotional charge behind the hoarding before making any attempt to clear out the clutter. As Stelios Kiosses rightly says in the programme, hoarding reflects what is going on inside us. We might be using it to numb the pain of loss by burying our self under stuff, or we might create such overwhelm that we guarantee we cannot move forward, in our life as well as our home. By addressing the emotional causes first, we reach a place where we naturally want to move forward and feel able to do so. As we liberate ourselves emotionally, we become genuinely re-engaged in doing the same in our physical world.

At one point Margaret was so overwhelmed by what she was being asked to do that she had a meltdown. Stelios Kiosses commented that the solution for this was to compartmentalise the challenge. That makes sense to our left brain (deal with it in smaller chunks) but the fundamental flaw remains : it is not enough to say to someone XYZ caused this (how your father made you feel), and now you know that, you can release it and start clearing out. The very nature of these deeply buried feelings is that they are not rational. They steer us to places our thinking mind knows we should not be (under a mound of clutter) and their power is such that we cannot simply think or talk our way out of them.

Margaret is an intelligent woman. Her father made her say out loud that she is stupid and it seems some part of her accepted that judgement even though her rational self knows it to be untrue. Acknowledging how her father made her feel is a helpful start, but it does not untie her sufficiently from her emotions to make real progress now. Nor is the fact that a photograph of her father upsets her necessarily a reliable indication that this is the root cause of her hoarding. Some attempt is made to address the emotional issues when she works with a therapist who uses EMDR, but the limitations of EMDR are evident both from it requiring her to revisit painful memories and her subsequent limited progress.

Channel 4 is providing a great service by highlighting the issue of hoarding, but so far the solutions being offered are of limited effect and out-dated. With the right approach a lot more people could be helped much faster and much more effectively. Perhaps it is all about ratings at the end of the day and a speedy resolution of a longstanding issue is just not as engaging as witnessing an ongoing struggle.

Whilst we celebrate a wider public awareness of mental health issues such as hoarding, let us be wary of voyeurism. The programme makers may not believe they have any responsibility to share the most effective solutions as part of making good TV; I would argue that if they did, their ratings would be even higher. More of those who need help (and their families) would tune in and encourage others to do the same because they would witness what really works rather than someone left limping along the path, despite several weeks of therapy.

 March 22, 2014  Posted by  Hoarding 3 Responses »
Mar 152014
 

Sublime-heart-the-hoarder-n

Anything that helps us better understand mental health challenges gets a big thumbs up from me. However, the latest episode of “The Hoarder Next Door” made me very frustrated and cross.

Alex is a sweet and gentle soul from Leeds. He hails from an affluent background and was once a successful photographer. His intelligence is evident, as is the fact that he suffered a significant trauma somewhere in his recent past: his out of control need to acquire and hold onto clutter speaks volumes even before he sheds a tear. And he did shed tears; tears that I do not believe he should have been made upset enough to cry, and that is what made me cross about the programme.

There is no need to cause such distress and suffering to free someone of a behaviour such as hoarding.

I know the upset was not intentional. It probably made better TV than if Alex had been robust and gruff, but even I would not suggest his upset was deliberately provoked in any way. I am sure that psychotherapist Stelios Kiosses is excellent at what he does. He seems like a kind and thoughtful man who interacted sensitively with Alex. However his methodology was limited and the result was that a man who was already deeply distressed and aware of his situation was upset without good cause, albeit with good intentions and all sincerity to help him.

By the end of the programme, whilst Alex had cleared some space in his clutter (by removing most of it to the barn, rather than disposing of it), the underlying issues causing his hoarding had not been resolved. That made me even more even more cross. At least if Alex had come through the other side of the upset with resolution, it might have justfied the pain triggered in him. That this is where we left Alex also perpetuates the myth that these disorders are hard to address and take a long time to do so.

That is just not the case if you address the root cause of the issue with the right approach.

Perhaps Chanel 4 is playing it safe by inviting a psychotherapist to treat the hoarder. It is a mainstream choice and Joe Public understands what a psychotherapist is, and it almost sounds like a psychiatrist, you know, the doctors who deal with the crazy people…

Why not instead profile faster and more effective solutions such as those provided in energy medicine? Let Joe Public see and learn for his own use and application what really works. There are fast and powerful modalities that would have alleviated Alex’s distress quickly and easily before asking him to tackle his mountain of clutter – rather than anticipating some breakthrough whilst he sifts through the piles of rubbish, simply displacing it from one place to another. The latter is like asking a man with cataracts to mend a broken watch; the former clears his sight before asking him to look at anything.

Variations of cognitive behavioural therapy have their place in the treatment of mental health issues but it is time to embrace the new paradigm that offers faster and more effective solutions to clear the underlying cause of behaviours such as hoarding. The process does not have to be drawn out and painful. It takes only a few hours (if that) to help someone like Alex shift to a state where he can address his clutter from a place of greater peace and understanding. That is what should have been offered to this dear man before handing him bin bags and asking him to throw things away. I would go so far as to say it is morally wrong to know that such remedies exist and work and not make use of them.

If we fail to adopt these more effective solutions, we fail the very people we are supposed to be helping. By definition they are vulnerable at the point they most need help and it is up to us to help them make good choices. Clear the underlying emotional issues first and then ask them to clear the clutter. It is by far the best way to clear up the mess, in them as well as in their homes.

 March 15, 2014  Posted by  Energy Medicine, Hoarding 1 Response »
Mar 132014
 

Sublime-heart-Sergio-Albiac

Anger hides in us in many guises. Often it is shrouded in sorrow or regret; depression is a common cloak. Even a sharp tongue and impatience may be clues as to the deeper reality of our feelings.

When anger is expressed in the moment that it arises, it leaves swiftly, as it has no need to hide. It has spoken its truth and left. For most of us, such expression of anger is rare. We learned early on that we secure a more reasonable response from those around us if we withhold our anger. At least, withhold the outer expression, no-one told us what to do with it once we have held it in our self.

We are designed for survival and our body believes it is keeping us safe when it skilfully stores those molecules of angry emotion in our organs. Meanwhile our rational self congratulates us for behaving decently and honourably and all those other things that nice people do.

Some of us on our journey discover ways to express this powerful emotion more healthily. Maybe we liberate it by going for a run or we vent with friends who help us make sense of what we are processing. Most though will bury at least part of what they feel somewhere deep inside, not realising that whatever we hide within, will always, somehow, speak to us again in times ahead.

So it is we unwittingly build layers of comfort around our anger, sometimes with food and addictions that numb us from this pain. We fail to realise that this craving for treats that literally makes our life sweeter for some brief moments, or this malaise, this lack of engagement in life, or this inability to be still or spend time alone, is the language of a voice that demands expression. It speaks to us in many ways, and we are talented at choosing not to hear it.

Very often in a session when I clear the first emotions that I witness, anger surfaces from beneath. It is as if these other emotions are somehow more acceptable and bearable than the rage we feel. We may be grieving the loss of our beloved and feel paralysed by sorrow, yet buried beneath is our anger that they have left us, our rage that God did not cure them, our fury that we did not do more and that we have to go on alone and feed and clothe the children that we were supposed to raise together. Guilt stops us from speaking our truths, as do our beliefs that as a nice person we should not make such complaints. After all, they died; we still live, surely we have no right to complain let alone be angry.

Clearing this anger is not about right and wrong, good or bad. It is our emotional response from a place of truth and, as such, deserves acknowledgement and release. I see so many depressed, addicted, anxious, exhausted, sick clients feel a new ease when their anger is unearthed and released. That this can be done without judgement and without the need to re-live the root cause makes the liberation all the more freeing. Sometimes it is as easy as going to sleep after a session one evening and waking up the next morning with a new lightness, an unfamiliar ease replacing that dull heaviness (or agitation) that they were resigned would accompany them always. Releasing anger need not involve shouting from a hill top or thumping pillows; there are more peaceful ways to restore harmony.

Whilst I am no longer surprised when I discover anger, often in the most unexpected places, I do not go looking for it. I simply show up willing to honour it and hear its needs if it is shown to me. Until we learn to better manage anger in the moment it arises, we must be alert to clearing it from where we hold it in our bodies. Otherwise, in time, the organs where we hide it will demand our attention more forcibly. Sadly, for most of us it is only then that we pay more close attention;  would that we learned to honour our needs much earlier!

 March 13, 2014  Posted by  Anger No Responses »
Mar 112014
 

Sublime-heart-Steven-DaLuz-

Iyanla Vanzant was one of my first companions on my journey into self. Her fiery passion and insight steered me through those early realisations of the extent of my power over self and everything in my experience.

I am sharing a piece from “Until Today” not just because of the clarity with which it expresses a need which we all have, but also because that same discipline of listening from the heart is essential in transformational healing.

Unless you are able to show up in the space of all possibilities without any expectation, judgement, opinion or internal dialogue, you will not hear what needs to be heard, or see what needs to be seen. You will not feel what words cannot express.

So also if you anticipate communication or revelation in a particular form: just because your previous client with post natal depression showed you in colours the location of her disconnect, does not mean that this one will too. No, she might whisper words to you or show you by the way she folds her body to protect herself. She might take you to that hidden experience or lead you to something altogether different that you need to see first. You cannot expect and anticipate; if you do, you will not witness what most needs your sight.

Nor can you have an opinion about the pain, anger, fear, guilt, sorrow, whatever it is you witness. You cannot be overwhelmed by it, infuriated or frustrated by it. It is not for you to attribute meaning; your job is to remain present whatever your senses share. Simply allow what Is.

By practising being present in our day to day interactions we learn this discipline. Notice your internal dialogue next time you speak with someone you really care about. You consider yourself attentive, yet notice how your mind wanders to what else you need to do today, or how you can already hear the words you will speak in reply. We are rarely fully present; it is not our habit.

In casual conversations with those we do not know well, such presence is rarer still. Yet notice what happens to the quality of such an interaction when you do listen from your heart, as if it is the most important, the only, thing that matters in the universe at that moment.

I have noticed that most people are not used to being heard in this way, and they respond at a heart level. When they smile and acknowledge you, you will see in their eyes they know that something is different. These are sacred moments; our work is to habituate such behaviours, to make ordinary the extraordinary, and so honour all our deepest selves. It begins with the simplest thing; be still, and listen. From there we learn to not only hear the other who stands before us, but to witness what our well being and wholeness most demands.

From “Until Today” by Iyanla Vanzant :

I open my heart and mind to be aware…when I am listening to myself, I cannot hear other people.

We are taught that communication is a two-way process. Consequently, we are not aware that there are three essential elements. There is talking, there is listening and there is hearing. We talk a great deal because we have much to say. In fact, we talk so much we often miss the point someone else is trying to make. Our talk about our past experience is loaded with perceptions and judgements. When we are listening, what we hear gets filtered through the same. We do talk, and we can listen. What challenges most of us is learning how to hear.

If you really want to hear someone when they trust you enough to talk to you, don’t listen to the words, hear how the words are spoken. All too often, we cannot hear the words because we come to the conversation with our own ideas about who people are. At the same time, we are determined not to let them see who we are. In order for effective and valued communication to occur, you must believe that you are safe, and you must offer that same safety to the other person.

If you want to communicate with another person, you must hear their fear and not dismiss it. You must hear a person’s pain and not overlook it. It is important to hear a person’s guilt and not buy into it. You must be ready to hear a person’s anger and not fuel it. Most people need to know that they have been heard. Listen to their body. Listen to their eyes. Listen to colours they are wearing, the way they touch their hair. Listen to the volume. Listen to the tempo. If you really want to hear someone, open your heart and listen to their soul.

Until today, you may not have been able to hear what people are saying to you. Just for today, close your eyes when you are in a conversation. Hear every word that is spoken through the center of your heart.

 March 11, 2014  Posted by  Heart, Presence 1 Response »
Mar 092014
 

Sublime-Heart-Our-Dancing-Children

Whilst I did not consciously choose to work with children, I seem to attract a lot of them, which is a joy because they are so responsive and quickly regain their sparkle!

The improvements in the language skills of children I work with are exciting. Well, actually, they are amazing! Initially I noticed that language skills improve in both adults and children as a by product of working on whatever other issues I am helping with. For example I have had adult clients report complete or partial resolution of dyslexia as a by product of helping them with mental health challenges such as depression. Others say it is as if their brain is more connected now and they are able to think and express themselves more clearly.

In children, I receive similar reports from their parents. The mother of one young boy whom I helped when he was hospitalised for pneumonia, reported this around 4 days after the session to resolve the pneumonia –

“XXX is making very smart comments and is noticing things he did not notice before. He is using words he never used before in his vocabulary. He seems like he broke out of a bubble into reality.”

Another commented after I helped clear her daughter’s asthma:

“The other change is at nursery, she chatters and is happy with the other children. Her class teacher Mrs XXX has noticed the difference and asked me what we have started to do differently at home!”

Before, the (two) sessions for the asthma, her daughter was not engaging with her classmates and most of the time remained taciturn, even though she seemed otherwise content in her own company.

This sort of improvement has become such a common “side effect” of the work I do that I have begun to monitor it more actively. The improvements working with children labelled as autistic are particularly interesting and exciting.

I say “labelled”, because when I work with anyone, the conventional medical label has little meaning to me; I address the issue at a level beyond such categorisation, so as to not be limited by any assumptions implicit in the categorisation.

Communication is, of course, about the non verbal as well as the verbal. One common immediate response I am witnessing in autistic children is a rapid calming of physical behaviours, including stimming. Even this last week, I had such an example: after the first (one hour) session with an autistic child aged 6, he has become more still and settled. His mother reports that he has been sitting quietly engaged in various activities; usually he is constantly moving and stimming by tugging vigorously at whatever happens to be near him.

I noticed myself when I happened to see him 4 days after that session that he had stopped tugging and pulling at objects around him. That was in stark contrast to when I saw him two days before the session, when he seemed unable to be still and constantly pulled at whatever was near him. Now, he quietly entertained himself whilst his mother and I spoke. I also noticed that when I spoke with him, he noticed I was addressing him by turning is face to me. He did not make eye contact, but a week earlier he had completely ignored my attempts to engage with him. Such a huge shift after just one session! I am optimistic that as I work with this bright little boy, we will have breakthroughs with his verbal communication (up to now he has refused to speak even though he clearly understands what is being said to him).

I will post more fully on outcomes with autism and what often shows up in such sessions. In the meantime, last words from a parent whose son was diagnosed with ADD and who seemed unable to sit still and pay attention in class at school. Whilst his parents tried various modalities, including careful control of his diet and exercise, I was a last resort for which they admitted they held little hope, before they would have to use medication!

After the first session he was noticeably calmer, and this comment is from his mother around 9 weeks after that session, by which time he had had 3 sessions over 6 weeks and there was evidence of much improved performance at school:

“It is like some connection in him was loose and you fixed it. I almost dare not believe it, it is such a huge relief. I never thought I would be so glad to say my son is normal. He listens when I am speaking now.”

The turnaround in children is usually fast and clearing the root cause of an issue means the results last, rather than just act as a band aid to symptoms. Best of all, it means they are not carrying these patterns forward as they develop. How many of us as adults wish we had been able to release our own patterns at a young age rather than spending a lifetime compounding them!

 

 March 9, 2014  Posted by  Children 1 Response »
Mar 082014
 

Pam Hawkes 10

Pam Hawkes paints the most wonderful evocative female faces. I love the quality of deep stillness in her work, which somehow draws me in to seek more behind what I appear to see.

 March 8, 2014  Posted by  Credits 1 Response »
Mar 072014
 

Sublime-heart-the-hidden-ne

There are some things our thinking mind knows it would probably be a good idea to forgive: the betrayal by a former partner, the indiscretion of a close friend, the casual cruelty of a stranger. We may decide not to forgive, but at least we are aware of that choice. Indeed a whole industry is appearing around the issue of forgiveness. Google, and you will discover all manner of wisdom to guide you. The shelves at Amazon are groaning under the weight of publications on the subject and Facebook is replete with artistic forgiveness posts. I am sure I have generated some myself.

That is all well and good (and I really do mean that: it is good to forgive and it is good to find the way to do so that suits you best). However, what intrigues me more is the need for forgiveness that we do not even realise we have and yet is essential if we are to enjoy well being. This includes not only the need to forgive another but to forgive our own self or to have another forgive us.

I experienced this myself, and was completely taken aback by it. My father passed away when I was fourteen. Needless to say this is something which I have processed and cleared over the years. Or least I thought I had cleared it.

For many years mum has kept a framed black and white photograph of dad on a side cabinet in her dining room. I see it often and yet one day I noticed that, as I caught sight of the photograph, I felt really annoyed and upset with dad. Hmm, I thought, what on the heck is that about!

In my investigations into self I discovered vestiges of anger at him for leaving us. Of course, my rational adult mind knows that was not what he chose when he went to sleep one night and did not wake up the next morning. However, it was evident that some part of me had still not forgiven him. When I tuned into what this was, I unearthed anger, and forgiveness was the salve. I have noticed that since satisfying my need to forgive him, the photograph no longer triggers me.

I encounter this deeply buried need for forgiveness regularly in client sessions, often in unexpected places. This, after all, is not a rational need for forgiveness. If it were, we would likely be able to bring it to mind and address it. Often it is in the company of anger, and frequently initially in the guise of sorrow. Usually the related circumstances are ones where, for whatever reason, we have not been able to speak our truth and/or feel our emotions fully in the moment. Instead, we bury those emotions deep in our tissues to silence them. Except they are never silenced; they are simply put into abeyance, until an opening arises for more full expression. If we are lucky, that full expression might be through a therapy process, protocol or prayer. More often, it is through the expression of dis-ease in our physical being. We can hide nothing from our energetic self; sooner or later our hidden truths are re-presented in material form, for another opportunity to address them.

So, in my case, as a fourteen year old, I witnessed my father’s passing, grieved for him and mourned him with others who loved him. However, that was not the whole story: when I tracked my need to forgive him, it was not only about my experience at fourteen, it was about how he had already left me once before as a toddler when he came to the UK. My grief as a three year old was huge and buried in my energy pattern; at fourteen I got to rehearse it all over again and even more painfully. It is irrelevant that I did not understand those overwhelming emotions of loss, grief and anger, and essential that I clear them.

Interestingly, it was only after that clearing that my mother casually mentioned one day how as a three year old I would lay my head against the car my father had let behind and cry for him, calling out to him. She had never mentioned that before. It made me wonder if my own release had freed her to speak for the first time of the pain she had witnessed in her child.

I see patterns such as this time and time again: the man whose father used to beat his mother and blames himself for not protecting her even though he was pre-school age at the time; the woman who drinks to numb the pain of sexual abuse and at some level blames her mother for what happened; the one who left his homeland sixty years ago to seek his fortune and all this time has carried guilt at leaving behind his widowed mother. There is often a tangle of emotions – anger, guilt, fear, to name some, but the solution is invariably the same: forgiveness.

This forgiveness is not some nice-to-have at an intellectual level or something that a religion would tell us to bestow upon another. It is an essential and powerful tool for progressing beyond survival, freed from invisible ties to our pain, to live the expansive, creative, joyous life for which we are created.

The good news is that we do not need to wait until we are sick and afraid, we can choose to free ourselves at any time. When we address this need for forgiveness, the breakthrough is liberating. I believe it is often the reason why clients experience a new and subtle ease and quiet joy in their being. The relief is huge when we are set free from the burden we have carried unwittingly and with this relief comes renewed energy and lightness of being. In our outward world it may look as if nothing has changed, yet in reality everything changes; it has to, our whole vibration shifts and so do we.

 

 March 7, 2014  Posted by  Forgiveness 1 Response »
Mar 032014
 

sublime-heart-redoute-pink-roses

So now I learn that floriography, the art of speaking with flowers, originated in Persia where illiterate Ottoman concubines used flowers to communicate in their seraglios, as they were forbidden from writing. Interesting, because my name, Shabnam, is of Persian origin and means “dew”.

Pink roses, it seems, symbolise appreciation, gratitude and joy. How absolutely perfect then their appearance in the process of reconnection with self! We increasingly understand the power of gratitude and appreciation, and joy is even higher on the vibrational scale than love.

For me, the symbolism is more meaningful still, given that when absorbed in the process of transformation my state is one of utter humility, awe and appreciation. It is here, present to the unmasked humanity of the other, that I learned what it is to Be Love. I knew what this was intellectually, and I thought I had experienced it in relationships, but now I realise it is here that I first tasted unconditional love. In this sacred space my heart is vast and open, free of all judgement. There is no good and bad, no right and wrong. There is no them and me. Everything just Is, and I appreciate it for no other reason than just because it Is.

This, more than anything, is what makes me return again and again to be of service. Now that I know what I know, I have no other choice. There is no way back from this awareness. I cannot un-know it. I did not knowingly choose this path, nor did I long more than any other to experience such love and allowing. Yet now I understand, really understand, what Hafiz means by the words “I wish I could show you……the astonishing light of your own being”. It is indeed astonishing.

The privilege of being present with another, whatever their experience, apparent victim or perpetrator in our physical reality, free of all impediment to love and allowing for them, is humbling. How to describe in words how awe-filled those moments are, how gratitude floods from the darkest places and joy sings it sweet song as harmony is restored! Being truly connected in that moment to All That Is, vast beyond all measure, and at the same time wholly present to Self.

When pink roses appeared as part of my online experience I accepted them for their beauty without conscious awareness of their meaning. Had I deliberately embarked on identifying and selecting a symbol for this part of my journey I wonder if it would have been this apt! I am reminded yet again that in this intelligent universe nothing is random; Divine wisdom orchestrates perfectly our every moment. Our challenge is to remember that in the minutiae that we perceive as mundane; this petal, this stem and scent are anything but a random coincidence.

 

 March 3, 2014  Posted by  Divine Wisdom 2 Responses »
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